Seeker

The following is my first-ever attempt at any kind of poetic creation. I have been letting this sit in my draft file for a long time, too timid to click the “publish” button, and too stubborn to delete it. I realize it is painfully amateurish and the rhythm of it could be rather annoying. For some reason, though, I feel led to share it. Here goes. . .

Ambling on a dark globe,

Grasping for a new robe,

Finding only vanity,

Blindness and insanity.

Headed for the wrong place,

Wandering in the sin-space;

Darkness all around me

Can create a mutiny.

Culture scratches itches,

Leads to dead-end ditches.

Ahead I see a bright light

Opening up my mind’s sight.

Jesus offers true joy,

Foiling Satan’s best ploy.

I have found the new King,

Everlasting Water-Spring.

Listen to the God-voice,

Find the final real choice,

Do away with soul-strife,

Enter in to new life.

God’s Voice in the Marketplace

On some days I find it much more inspiring and relaxing to work part of the day outside the office at a place like Panera. One of the dynamics at work may be the fact that I am reading / studying / preparing things which are of the Kingdom of God in the midst of the systems of the world. Within the reverberations of that clash often come insights not gained in the pastor’s study.

Into Panera came a guy wired to the hilt. He sat next to me and plugged in his laptop, had one ear attached to his iPod and the other to his cell phone via Bluetooth. Oblivious to the people around him, he engaged in conversations with beings in other realms.

A series of conversations unfolded, muffled to my hearing because of my focus on other things. And then a new conversation began with someone who was not a business contact. My attention was kidnapped by the passion of his voice. Some kind of friend or family member who had intimate knowledge of his personal life brought out his unprofessional side. In tones unmuted, he shared his opinion about “her” (an ex-wife, I assumed by the context) and laced his words with a string of expletives that short-fused basketball coaches would have found admirable.

As suddenly as it began, his tone shifted. He said, “Hi Baby!” and with tenderness spoke to his young daughter. Though his words were carefully chosen and not abusive, he was clearly letting his daughter know that she could not continue to carry stories to her mother that cast him in a bad light. Otherwise, she would not be welcomed into his home anymore.

(I realize I sound like the ultimate eavesdropper here, but I could hardly ignore this scenario which played out a mere five feet from me in such an unmuffled manner. I decided at this point to turn my attentions elsewhere, because I was forming a very unfavorable opinion of this man.)

I turned to some personal Scripture reading – Psalm 16 – and tried to close out the noise around me. I came to verse 4 and stopped cold.

The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply.

My judgment changed to brokenness. Moments earlier I had become disgusted by the profane language and arrogance of a man at my elbow. I had quickly concluded that the miseries of his life were self-induced and he simply needed to wake up and grow up. God’s voice changed my assessment in a split second.

Now, I paused to pray for a man with no name. Regardless of the reasons, the stresses of his life have come in ever-increasing torrents. A busted marriage, a broken home, a bitter heart are multiplied sorrows which come when other gods are pursued. Such souls do not need more condemnation. They need the life-giving message of God. I read further.

The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16:5-11

I have discovered this joy. Will he?

Father, speak to the broken hearts who run after other gods.

War God – Part 3

The question came up at a recent Tuesday morning men’s breakfast/Bible study. What’s up with the apparent schizophrenic God of the Old and New Testament? Why is He a war hawk in the OT and a peace lover in the NT?

I have slowly been sparring with this question, and you can read my first two musings on this (War God & War God – Part 2) if you’d like. More random thoughts appear below.

1. In 2 Samuel 24 King David of Israel conducts a census of his military might. A curious phrase occurs at the start of this account: “he incited David against them.”

• First of all, who is “them”? Earlier in the verse we are told that “the anger of the Lord was kindled against Israel” and the logical antecedent to “them” would be “Israel.”
• But then we have the troubling “he.” Using the same logic, we would assume that the “he” is “the Lord,” but this places God in the awkward position of being a meddling instigator.
• In the parallel account in 1 Chronicles 21 we are told that “Satan” (literally satan = adversary) moved David to count his warriors.
• The only precedent for a God/Satan “cooperation” in the testing of a person is the story of Job. In both cases, Satan is permitted by God to test someone, but in Job’s case it is to prove his righteousness. In David’s case it is to determine if his ego can resist basking in his military strength. David fails and his nation suffers the consequences. According to both 2 Samuel 24:15 and 1 Chronicles 21:14 the 70,000 who died were “men” and seems to imply that they were members of David’s army, not the general population.

While not a wholesale condemnation of military conquest, God does emphasize to David that hope for protection and victory comes from the hand of the Lord, not the number of trained troops.

2. Just following the account of the census conducted by David is a passage in which David, anticipating his death, plans for the building of the Temple under Solomon’s reign. In David’s charge to Solomon he says:

“My son, I had it in my heart to build a house to the name of the LORD my God. But the word of the LORD came to me, saying, ‘You have shed much blood and have waged great wars. You shall not build a house to my name, because you have shed so much blood before me on the earth. Behold, a son shall be born to you who shall be a man of rest. I will give him rest from all his surrounding enemies. For his name shall be Solomon, and I will give peace and quiet to Israel in his days. He shall build a house for my name. He shall be my son, and I will be his father, and I will establish his royal throne in Israel forever.’

- 1 Chronicles 22:7-10

God declares to David, and David admits to Solomon, that because of his fascination with war, David is unfit to build a house of worship for God. David possesses a warrior’s heart, while God desires a man of peace.

In view of the fact that David is recognized as a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22), this seems hard to reconcile. Perhaps we can at least surmise that David, unlike those that God used before, was not willing to win battles by the Lord’s strength alone, but enjoyed picking a fight, flexing his muscle, and being the military hero. Perhaps he was drawn to the act of war more than the victory of God’s Kingdom. Like a dog who crosses the line and raids the chicken house, once David tasted blood, he craved it all the more.

3. One more David story that I find instructive is found in 2 Samuel 16. While David is on the run from his wigged-out son Absalom, he passes through Bahurim, the home of Shimei. Shimei was a part of the family of Saul, and as David comes near his home, he curses at David and throw stones at him in anger for David’s defeat of Saul and his family. His words are revealing:

“Get out, get out, you man of blood, you worthless man! The LORD has avenged on you all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose place you have reigned, and the LORD has given the kingdom into the hand of your son Absalom. See, your evil is on you, for you are a man of blood.”

- 2 Samuel 16:7-8

What is more striking is David’s reaction. It is as though Shimei hits a nerve. One of David’s men, Abishai, says, “Let me go over now, and cut off his head.”

David, understanding that to retaliate would simply validate Shimei’s charge, instead urges his men to peace.

“Leave him alone, and let him curse, for the LORD has told him to. It may be that the LORD will look on the wrong done to me, and that the LORD will repay me with good for his cursing today.”

- 2 Samuel 16:11b-12

In essence, David accepts the charge as just. He is a “man of blood.” And, in David’s mind, to be such a man brings the just judgment of God.

4. It seems that God desires His servants to understand the line drawn between being obedient to God in warfare and becoming infatuated with war. Considering the many miraculous ways in which Israel won battles, it would seem that God is free to exercise judgment as he chooses, but places limitations on how dirty the hands of Israel’s warriors would be in the process.

5. As best as I can discern, the complicity of God in waging war is restricted to the period of history prior to the coming of Jesus Christ into the world. Is this God’s necessary action of preserving the purity of the vessel which would bear the Savior of the world (specifically, the nation of Israel)? Once the Savior has come, His war decrees seem to cease. Or at least the battles shift from the physical to the spiritual realms. No longer is flesh and blood a co-conspirator with Satan in opposing the Kingdom of God. Now human beings become victimized pawns, captives held for ransom, as it were, while the satanic general uses them/us for human shields and scapegoats.

The battle still rages, though on a different front.

I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts on this later. What thoughts do you have on this issue?

Selfish Reading

Reading so much. Retaining so little. I get frustrated that, as much as I read, I tend to forget most of it. I am not unfamiliar with the dynamics of learning – repetition is key – but it is impractical to re-read each book several times (except in the case of Scripture). Instead, I must become unselfish in reading.

So often a book becomes a conquest. Even Bible reading can become this. Read through the Bible in a Year can be a great goal IF one determines to do so with adequate time reserved for reading, thinking about what is read, and praying for the text to become fruitful in the reader’s life. When I merely press forward to “check the box” I completely miss the point. I conquer the book/Book, but the book/Book doesn’t conquer me.

Recreational reading is also a danger. I dare not read frequently as entertainment. It is akin to evening television viewing. I seek for some medium to simply carry me away to an alternate reality while my mind drifts along on a current determined by someone else. This is my problem with too much fiction in a literary diet. I wish I read more of it because the creative sparks it creates is good food for the mind and heart. But writing which is based on reality (and most fiction can serve this purpose if written thoughtfully) feeds the soul. Consider that Scripture contains a limited amount of fiction (parables), yet even it is grounded in eternal truth. Much of God’s letter to us is story/narrative (truth, not fiction) and surrounded by myriad genres which develop the core truths of the main story.

Sometimes I read to make a point. Whether in the Bible or another tome, I seek written validation for what I think or hope to be true. Instead, as I dare to enter through the gate of a book, I should be willing to encounter the story of the author. As Eugene Peterson observes in his excellent work Eat This Book, the problem with books is that we become sovereign over the author. Because it is written, we determine when we will read and when we will stop reading. We can even, with pen in hand, emphasize, alter, or delete portions at our whim.

The tension lies in my ego. I want to read many books. I want to conquer many literary hills. And yet, selfish reading results in a superficial skimming. Instead of slowly climbing the mountain and enjoying each step of the journey on my way to the summit, I am content to fly overhead in a blur. I am, therefore, left with a hazy memory of its mass, and no recollection of the footpaths, wildflowers, burrowing critters and dimpled intimacies of the mountain’s slopes.

If I read but two books before year’s end, reading them unselfishly will nurture my life far better than the dozens I’ve read selfishly in the last five years. It is time to sit at the feet of masters and learn from their voice. Allow them to dictate the pace and the direction of thinking – not as mindless disciples, but submissive pupils seeking to understand.

What good stuff have you read lately? How do you stay intensely engaged as you read?

I Gave Up Non-Conformity for Lent

Being raised in a non-liturgical tradition (is that an oxymoron?  Sadly, no.), I have never observed the period of preparation leading up to Easter known as Lent.  When I was little I confused Lent with the stuff that collected in the filter of the clothes dryer in the basement.  Maybe it was the northern Ohio accent.

Lent is not specifically rooted in any Biblically parallel event or events, but is a period of forty days (probably modeled after a number of fasts in Scripture – Moses, Elijah and Jesus among them) in which the observant exercises the disciplines of repentance, fasting and giving.  In recent times the days of Lent have become increasingly secularized, and pre-Lent festivals such as Mardi Gras (celebrating the conclusion of Carnival and ending on “Fat Tuesday”) have been associated more with excessive indulgence than contemplative holiness.

Growing up in a faith system which eschews creeds, man-established liturgies and observances, and the like, has created a shell around my experience and, I fear, my soul.  Like a college-bound teen looking for life experimentation, I feel a restlessness to explore the value of seasons which might strengthen the sinew of my spirit.  The core of the Lenten season can be a valuable tool for sharpening the life of faith.  For centuries Christians have observed Lent and found it to be a positive time of spiritual renewal.

And so, in spite of my almost total ignorance, I have decided to observe this season.  Daily I am reading and meditating on pre-determined Scriptures arranged thematically.  I have committed to give up candy, especially chocolate, for these forty days.  Unlike a cat giving up baths, refusing to ingest chocolate for me is truly a sacrifice.  I am more like the cat refusing to flinch as a mouse dances before its nose.  I hope that these days will also become a time of healthy self-examination.

“What attitudes within me dishonor God?”

“What habits of my life destroy relationships?”

“What disciplines have I left neglected?”

“What Kingdom issues need to more consistently dominate my thinking and behavior?”

You are invited to journey toward Resurrection Sunday with the Body of Christ.  Take time for silence and solitude, for fasting from those things which have addicted you to comfort, and for deepened times in Bible reading, prayer, confession and worship.  What are you learning about God the Father, God the Son and your soul?

Groundhog Day

Today is the day they drag a sleepy rodent from his den and engage him in conversation about his perceptions of future weather patterns. Did he or didn’t he? If he sees his shadow, winter’s icy blast will last for six more weeks. If he sees no shadow, spring will arrive early.

Here’s the official report from “Phil”:

“As I look around me, a bright sky I see, and a shadow beside me. Six more weeks of winter it will be!”

Of course, all of this is just a way to put Punxsutawney, PA on the map and find another holiday for the bleak months of cold in the north.

I have several problems with this whole scenario:

• Is it ethical to harass a large rodent?
• Can a groundhog really see his shadow on even the sunniest of days?
• How does a groundhog communicate his findings?
• Just how do we quantify an “early spring”?
• What scientifically valid correlation is there between a sunny/cloudy day and the weather trends for the following six weeks?
• Why is February 2nd the only day on which this meteorological discovery can be made?
• What made Phil Connors so grumpy?

Frankly, I think it would be much simpler to have a human being do this. I, for instance, could, with my present girth, cast a shadow at night during a lunar eclipse.

I suppose the whole spectacle is important to Phil (the groundhog) because he discovers on that one day each year he has worth. He is substantive enough to cast a shadow. And that shadow has the attention of the world. . . well, at least the United States. . . okay, at least all of Pennsylvania. . . or at least people in Punxsutawney.

A shadow is the symptom of our existence and presence. It indicates that light will not pass through us (a post-worthy topic in itself) because we are. We exist. We leave a mark. We have impact.

This makes me ponder the shadows cast by my existence. People will never gather at Gobbler’s Knob to discern my shadow-casting ability, but God observes all, and those along the Jericho Road of my life will either experience my compassion and humility, or not. My shadow becomes the proof of my genuine presence in a world in which so much is transparent and without substance. Unlike the Pennsylvania prognosticator, the lack of my shadow means that winter will last for a long time.